he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
