Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
