I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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