Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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(775): View more from Nevada

He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.

(856): View more from New Jersey

Restraining orders are what college is about.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

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(989): View more from Michigan

I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.

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(509): View more from Washington

You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.

(240): View more from Maryland

Sorry, who is this??

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