My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
