What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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