Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
