He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
