I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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