My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
