come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
