Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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