Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
40s are totally the cure
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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