it hurts more in the daytime
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
