I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
