Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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