I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
