just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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