I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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