i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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