The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
