Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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