He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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