Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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