just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
