I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
