just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
