Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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