i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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