I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
