I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
