I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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