I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
