in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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