You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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