I think my vagina is haunted
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
