Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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