Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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