Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
