I cockslap morals
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she pinky promised me she was 18
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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