actually, I'm a sock model
Ambien. No doubt about it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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