I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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