im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
