they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
