All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize