I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize