I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
