Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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