I wish I could teleport
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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