is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
