Sry I called you an 8
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
