Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
