Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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