That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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