Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
