Your face is a jimmy john
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
