I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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