apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
