why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
