im drinking this country out of the recession.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
