Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
