my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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