I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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