You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize