Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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