Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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