1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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