should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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