You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't think brook has ever known best
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
